how to protect ourself from marriage fraud

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Subject: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud
  Is there anyway to protect myself from a marriage fraud? I´m currently planning to marry someone oversea and sponsor him to Canada. But as I read more and more cases about marriage fraud, where the spouses disappear after they arrive or file a divorce but yet they are still eligible to support them financially for 3-10 years base on the Sponsorship Agreement where Sponsors must promise to support the relative or family member and their accompanying family members for a period of three to 10 years to help them settle in Canada..
Is there anyway for me to hire a lawyer to make sure this doesn?t happen? For example ask the lawyer to create a both side agreement , where to ignore the Sponsorship Agreement all together before the actually sponsoring her over? If that?s not possible then create some sort of contract where if divorce, the support of Sponsor agreement will be cancel?? Or anything that might relate to this kind of protections on a legal level.

[23-06-2006,00:05]
[**.49.217.110]
protect
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
there is no way out between you and the Federal Government. You could ask her to post a bond! Yikes... does not sound very trusting.

Here is what I did. I said my guy needed to come on his own merits or forget it. I gave him the settlement money and paid his fees (settlement money was 3 years wages for him). I mentally kissed the money goodbye. He now did not need me to come to Canada. If he got his PR and walked away, I had no future liability. If he stayed... I stood a good chance of recovery my investment and I would know he was with me for love rather than immigration.

It is taking us longer than a sponsorship, but our relationship is strong, it is free and there are no doubts about intent. It also saved us the humiliation of trying to validate our relationship to CIC.

Not for everyone, but I am glad I have gone this route.


[23-06-2006,00:21]
[***.20.170.23]
Sharon
Scary what you guys are getting yourself into! (in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)


[23-06-2006,05:07]
[***.95.63.110]
goshhh
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
Hiya,

That is a good point, and you are the one to answer that question yourself... Do you think he is really in love with you? What makes him to love you ? Why he is interested in you ? Do you think you are an attractive lady ? and what makes you to fall in love with him ?

You have to think about it over and over again, ...

This a story of a friend of mine, a Canadian, she is a very nice lady inside, but she is phsically not that much attractive, overweight ( no offense please) .. As a man at her age, for example, I have never found her attractive, but she is a very nice lady...

Anyway she met a guy, an Ermenian, on the net, a very handsome guy in fact ... When she sent me his pictures I told myself, this guy is handsome really good looking, and looks like a playboy, ...anyway I kept those thoughts only for myself, but only advised my friend to be carefull and be sure of her love...

Anyway, she went out of the cuntry, got married to him, and sponsored him, he came over, applied for MA in vancouver, then had her own parents to sponsor his brother, he as well , became a PR, guess what just after his arrival, he left her... the reason > nothing, no thing really, ..That poor friend of mine paid a lot of money to support him and sponsor his brother, she even paid the fares for their mum to visit them...
Now she lives alone, and paying her credit card debts...

What I want to say is that not everyone is like that asshole ...but for some men living in a poor country, it is really easy to do everything to make their net lovers belive in their love... They can simply do everything to come over, ....

Let me tell you another real story I came across, at the embassy while i was getting my visa, I met another couple and helped them to fill in some forms, guess what, the canadian lady was about 50 and the young man was about 25, and she was filling in some sponsorship papers...
Just funny, ... but sad at the same time, I do not have to be a genius to guess their future relationship...

My advice, marriage is a serious thing, you are going to share all your life with a man , you will sacrifice for him , so you have to be careful ......

for all those people who are gonna marry i would advice,

a. never fall in love with some who is much younger or older than you..
b. never get married to someone who is much more attractive then you..(If you are a fat lady and the man is fit and handsome belive me his love is a lie)
c. live together for some time, try to learn his/her likes and dislikes/ travel with him or her,
d. go out as often as you can with him or her,
e. meet their family, see their friends and see his /her life...
g. try to learn whether he had a professional job, and worked on his own for some time,
h. get to know if he has self confidence or not..

Anyway my creteria goes on, becasue marriage is an important process and you have to be selective and picky to choose the right person for you.. One day s/he will be the father or mother of your kids, and the person who will share your life on bad times and good times...

I am just a mature man in his early 40s, got married once and divorced, I am a dad and can say I have had a lot of experience, all my failures, successes or lets say happiness in my life gave me a big lesson that is why i am talking like that...

Instead of the words he produces to show his/her love for you, check what he is doing for that love,

Marriage is a mutual relationship just be careful...

Becasue the friend ( I mentioned above) is right now suffering a lot and even thought of committing suicide many times and as a friend I did my best for her, to be strong and keep on surviving...

Sorry, I might sound a bit pessimistic about such net- overseas relationships but the facts made me be careful aboput such relationships.....

Good luck..

[23-06-2006,08:45]
[**.104.215.65]
Anonymous
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
215.65

there is one problem with your comments and that is your preconceived ideas of what is socially attractive or acceptable. That is true in Canada or anywhere else. If your premise was true, overweight women would all be single and women would never be loved by a younger man and both are simply not true. Some men see the value of mind, heart,and spirit and handsome men have the same basic desires in their life as ugly men. This is also true in reverse. Ever notice the kind of women Woody Allen is seen with?

In some cultures, age is not as big an issue as it is in North America. We think nothing of an older man with a younger woman. Who is to say the reverse does not hold merit? Body type is also not as big an issue as it is in North America. One thing about online relationships is that you discover a person rather than a package.

That all said (as you may guess, this topic really gets me going) - you have offered some good advice as well.

More often than not, time is your best friend. Stalling can be your best friend. As the Canadian, you should control the time table and the rules. If you are being pushed... red flag. If they are dreaming out loud about being rich and, and, and... red flag. If they don´t like you calling when they are with their friends - red flag. If the stories change over time, red flag.

It is interesting. In the 4 years I have been trying to maintain a long distance relationship, we have often talked about our respective friends and family who really think we have lost our minds. In my guys situation, his family thinks if he moves to Canada he will forget them (that is what the relatives promise will happen). If he moves to Canada, he will lose his morality (again, the relatives).

Anyway - I so understand your anxiety. I am still struggling with it. I think I have eliminated as many risks as possible but there comes a point when you simply must trust your gut and take your chances.


[23-06-2006,13:41]
[***.20.170.23]
Sharon
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
Well Sharon, i guess your relationship is a strong one, I cannot say anything else except for wishing you happiness...

I just wanted to warn people especially young people, because you as well might know there are many women who could not work it out with a man near them and they are online in chat rooms talking and looking for ´love´and as can bee seen from my experience those ladies can easily fall in love with someone when they hear the ´love´ words which they have not heard and can easily be cheated by words...

Anyway hope you get what I meant ....
Cheers

[23-06-2006,17:50]
[**.104.215.65]
Anonymous
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
Sharon, you have done a lot for your relationship (for yourself). You will not one day wake thinking you haven´t done enough. You did your part, now remains the reward soon to come! Have hope! have love! Well done!
RESPECT for your point of views!
You can never be 100% sure about what another is really thinking. Hope, trust (and checking :-) )is all we can do.
NOT ALL ARE LIKE bastards!

[23-06-2006,18:15]
[**.251.132.10]
jolli
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
Does pleasure count? Sharon is an old woman seeking your bucks from faroff lands. Nothing wrong with that. Many older Canadians make international trips to satisfy their desrie. Shaorn did that and going for a longer term solution instead of constantly making the trips across the oceans looking for exotic flesh! Sharon don´t worry just be yourself and enjoy.
[23-06-2006,18:16]
[***.202.54.107]
Pleasure
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
I met my wife when studying. I was so poor that she had to study and work part time to feed me. I could even get a part time for myself.
She helped with my school fees! her parents din´t even know about that. They were so against our relationship. adding to that I am 8 yrs older! All this was 6 yrs ago.
Guess what! We are married, I am working. I am the principal applicant. I earn more. I support our family.
So think people! Think. It isn´t always what it may seems.
I know for myself cos I was once in that position.


[23-06-2006,18:36]
[**.251.132.10]
jolli
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
we don´t know who´s lucky to have whom!
I am 34 and will NEVER regret whatever happens.
I can´t think of a better "other half" for me!

[23-06-2006,18:40]
[**.251.132.10]
jolli
(in reply to: how to protect ourself from marriage fraud)
Pleasure...you presume alot. I will not dignify your rude remarks with a rebuttal.

Jolli - you say it very well. who is lucky to have whom. That is exactly how we both feel in our relationship. Both of us sometimes wish we could make our lives easier and just walk away - but when you have found your other half... there is nothing in life too difficult.




[23-06-2006,19:55]
[***.181.198.246]
sharon