perspective

Canada Immigration Forum (discussion group)


 
       
Subject: perspective
  let´s step back for one minute because there is something here that is very valuable to all immigration applicants.

When you come to Canada, your children will become part of our Canadian society. They will go to school with Indian, Chinese, Jewish, Scotish, Malasian and countless other children. They will see the world in a new and different way. The pure traditions/values of your home country will be lost - no matter how hard to try to preserve them. In the specific case that we have been talking about, it involved an arranged marriage. Cultural expectations on the part of the man and his family were that the girl would be ´pure´ in the same way it would be expected in their home country.

Right or wrong, reasonable or not - it is irrelevant. Our girls parents determined that they were going to carry out a cultural tradition ´the old way´ - without really measuring the potential problems this might present for our bride. Our bride has been living in Canada and has experienced her adolescence through Canadian eyes. Obviously, her parents thought her Canadian experience should be covered up and ignored- why else would they have instructed her not to be truthful.

Hopefully, they can work it out. For the rest of us, when a decision is made to move to Canada (or any other country) there simply must be a willingness to accept that Canada is not our old home and that things cannot always be the way they used to be. In some cases, it might mean your child marrying outside your culture, or religion. It happens here every day! The girl in this situation really did nothing wrong. Either did the boy. I have bigger issues with parents who tried to ignore all the years their children lived and learned in Canada.

When making decisions about immigration, please consider this very carefully. Think about this family - because it could be your family... and what would you do? It is part of immigration you must be ready for.





[31-12-2004,23:04]
sharon
(in reply to: perspective)
sorry... I lost the subject line. this is ´sex before marriage - part 2´
[31-12-2004,23:28]
sharon
Perspective (in reply to: perspective)
Sharon:

I guess Canadians also need to look over these small incidents. What you speak of are a small percentage of immigrants who have never looked over their home-area. Such people are everywhere. However, large portion are modern progressive and forward looking. They have been to finest educational institutes; have traveled the world extensively and more than likely are residents of a third country. I left my own country over ten years back as soon as I completed my undergraduate study. Have lived, traveled and worked in over a dozen countries and never had a problem either adjusting or letting anyone feel I fit out of the ordinary. All my friends are likewise and several other that I know. So I guess the people you refer to are the minor few who may have come as dependents or maybe never should have been allowed to come in.
What you defend was morally wrong. I don?t see being sexually active before marriage as wrong ? more than likely all are ? but if you feel it is no big deal then why hide it from your perspective husband or wife? If it is a big deal with that person-one must come forth. You can?t build relationships on lies. As is in this case the husband who thought perhaps he is marrying a ?virgin? and woke up to find it not. Well I guess what is done is done. The lady should now try to convince the husband with the routine BS of love and life ahead. If the husband does not stop his harp of the righteousness then I guess dude can take the highway. As you say and I agree; life in west comes as a package ? you must accept it as such. Can?t decide to make ?mini? versions of your country in any other country. When I left my country I was fully prepared to do so and have always felt adapting and making friends easily by this attitude ? especially with people of opposite sex!!
So yes ? I agree; immigration is not about living in another country and having a better lifestyle but it is about making another country and surroundings your home.
And also ? locals need rise up the stereo-types of immigrants.

Digshai

[01-01-2005,18:25]
Digshai
(in reply to: perspective)
I was trying very hard not to stereotype (sorry if I was not successful)... and I agree with you 100% that the majority of new immigrants try very hard to adapt to their new home. I do not want to isolate any specific group for my comment. My comment was to suggest that we see the collision of cultures all over Canada. Be it cultural practice, cultural prejudice, or cultural politics. Oddly, that is part of what makes Canada great. We all live beside each other and find ways to be friends and neighbours. we even marry each other! You nailed it... immigration is a package. A perfect choice of words. thank you for finding them for me.


[01-01-2005,20:41]
sharon
(in reply to: perspective)
Amen to that

Digshai

[02-01-2005,00:18]
Anonymous
(in reply to: perspective)
a very sensible topic.. thanks for reminding me!
[03-01-2005,02:38]
rpg
Reply to the perspective posting
Submission Code (SX17029) Copy The Code From The Left found in the brackets
Name
Email
Reply Subject
Reply Message


Canadian Immigration Forum at Canada City | Work From Home in Canada