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| Subject: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS |
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This started almost 3 years ago. I met a foreigner on vacation and after a 1 month sexfest became infatuated. I was told that the only way we could see each other after the vacation was if we got married. I took a chance on love and took the plunge via a ´traditional ceremony´ in the other party´s home country. Luckily for me this was not a legally binding ceremony. One month after arriving back in canada to live, this person faked an overdose and had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance. This was the first of a very strange string of behaviour that included the following incidents:
- verbal abuse (i hate you, i´m going to kill you (whispered while in bed no less), you´re ugly, you´re selfish, you this, you that.)
- physical abuse (biting, punching, kicking)
- destruction of property (dumping book cases, clearing tables off onto floor, etc)
- extorsion (give me $X dollars and I´ll leave without causing you problems)
- offers to become roommates instead of continue relationship
- lies to neighbours and family ("i´ve been hit and abused"), upon further investigation by my family this person admits to fabricating the stories of abuse
- force me to buy $2000 plane ticket back home, then as soon as the ticket was purchased "i changed my mind" with a smile!!!!
- attempted (faked) hanging suicide
I caught this person corresponding with their previous love, saying how they can´t wait to be together and how terrible i was. This was admitted during a ´calm period´.
After one year, I had seen so many strange things that I did not fill out the Immigration application. I was told over and over that the behaviour was because of me, and that if I were to just do it everything would be fine. Still wanting to give all possible options a chance to make things work, and hoping that things would get better I finally convinced myself to do the spousal sponsorship paperwork. Things went downhill so fast after that I was convinced it was a trick. within two months of sending in application I was charged with 6 criminal charges and thrown in a solitary confinement cell for 4 days and let out on bail.
Now I have to defend myself against these lies, and defend my property. I am being taken to divorce court for half of my belongings, $2000 / month support etc.... Because I was able to withdraw my sponsorship application before the process began this person has hired themselves an immigration lawyer and is attempting to gain permanent residence status based on compassionat grouns. This, I now understand, was the plan, and explains the multitude of times I felt like i was being goaded into physical conflict. I still vividly remember absorbing many punches and kicks with a defense of holding the wrists, then after letting go the sleeves go up and I hear, "i´m taking pictures then I´m taking you house".... oh my god. I say, "if you say things like that people in this country don´t joke around, I will go to jail."... response = "I know" with a smile. Oh my god. I called the police to ask what I should do and they said to leave my house because if they have to come there, I will be going to jail. So I left for days. After this person pulled the (faked?) hanging suicide incident at the end of the relationship (presumably for attention) I decided to go to the police to make a report, assuming I was going to be insinuated that I had something to do with it. It made no difference, One month later I was charged with so much bullshit it´s not funny. In my mind this was evidence of a sick person.
A recent search of google for "how to immigrate to canada" turned up a webpage with the following....
"Many countries have marriage bureaus. Usually they bring together
women from their home country with Canadian men. (A few will also
introduce men to Canadian women.) It is your right to find the
richest man you can, to marry. If you marry him and stay married for
at least 6 months, even if you then get divorced, you get to keep your
Canadian citizenship. Additionally, if you actually marry the
Canadian man and then divorce him for a good reason, you will likely
get one-half of all his assets (businesses, family home, other
property, cars, etc.). If you want half of his assets, it is best to
create a record of repeated physical abuse, whether or not any has
occured. To do this contact any women´s groups after 4 or 5 months of
marriage, to complain of physical abuse, to establish a record of
your first complaints. In the sixth month or later, hit or otherwise
injure yourself so that you will have at least bruising and call
the Police and say your husband has beaten you. You will then do
the same a second time, but first call the women´s shelter and then
the Police. This second time, ask the Police to drive you to the
women´s shelter on the grounds that you fear for your life. The
shelter will get you a place to live and get you a free lawyer to help
you divorce your Canadian husband and claim half of all his assets.
Feminist groups will also greatly assist you. You will now not only
be a Canadian citizen, but also be rich! "
Does that not blow your mind? The fact that it happened to me, almost to the letter, blows mine. THIS IS A SCAM THAT PEOPLE ARE PULLING ON CANADIANS...Even if it´s not true, people are doing this.
Canada Border Services Agency has been informed of this persons activities. Revenue Canada has been informed of the illegal work this person is doing under the table. I went to my MP´s office, my MPP´s office... no help.
I´ve tried to get financial aid and am not able to. I make $30k a year. I pay taxes for the state to prosecute me and I pay for my own defense and I cannot get financial assistance, all because a foreigner has lied for access to the country. I am beside myself. I do not have confidence in my own country, the legal system, or any of the public officials who are supposed to help me.
My criminal lawyer said, "i get paid in blocks of $15,000, I´ll need two for sure, maybe three." My family law lawyer, who has to come from 1 hour away because none of the lawyers in my town are accepting cases at the moment, is twice as much per hour as my criminal lawyer. I am being driven into the ground by this.
Immigration Fraud. Marriage Fraud. Police investigating literally one half of a story and without warning laying 6 charges in a ´cast the largest net´ manner. I feel like i´ve seen too much of this wonderful Canada, which I used to be so proud of. I accept responsibility for my foolish mistakes, however this is going too far.
I have left a lot out of this rant/vent not on purpose. It has been going on so long that I forget to fill in details that others need to make sense of the story. If you have any questions feel free.
BE WARNED PEOPLES, THE MOTIVATIONS OF FOREIGNERS AND THE HARDSHIPS OF FOREIGN COUNTRIES CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD BY THE AVERAGE CANADIAN. YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW WHAT A PERSON WILL DO TO LIVE IN THE ´LAND OF MILK AND HONEY´ .... BUT YOU DON´T.
[29-06-2009,13:35]
[***.221.75.118]
fooled me once |
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(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
I am so sorry for the drama and hardship you are enduring. I am most sorry for your broken heart. Thank you for posting this. We usually get complaints about spouses that invite the blame game and people miss the point that as Canadians, we need to be very, very cautious. It is amazing what someone will do for a stamp in their passport.
I know of a couple that were madly in love. She put up the settlement money for him to come as a skilled worker even though they were intending to marry. The rationale... skilled worker means he comes on his own merits and there are no strings attached. Well, he never did arrive and the settlement money is gone to some emergency. Yes, the Canadian is out $12,000 but that sure beats the hell you have found yourself in.
[29-06-2009,13:57]
[***.20.116.15]
Sharon |
(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Oh that was so cruel. But it is nice you informed these ppl but I doubt that it helps any: for one thing, this forum scrolls too fast and it will be lost; for another most ppl coming to this are foreigners and are naturally very brutal in nature. However, you can´t blame them much; they grow up in vicious societies and have to fight for life an death. What appeared to you as cruel is a matter of fact in many other countries.
[29-06-2009,16:44]
[***.202.38.241]
Helper |
(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Hi,
While I am a foreigner who is "naturally very brutal", I am sorry for your broken heart.
On a side note, foreigners or no foreigners, if you are silent to this much abuse, you´re eventually going to be abused, the message would be for one to be vigilant and study the other partner real motives.
I for one who said it directly to my girlfriend/Soon to be wife, I love you, AND I like your Canadian passport and I want one.
[30-06-2009,07:19]
[***.229.237.39]
United |
(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Thanks for the support. We had those discussions and she made it quite clear that she only wanted to come to canada to be with me. Obviously that was a lie. It is hard to know what was lie and what was truth. This is the exact reason for my comment...
BE WARNED PEOPLES, THE MOTIVATIONS OF FOREIGNERS AND THE HARDSHIPS OF FOREIGN COUNTRIES CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD BY THE AVERAGE CANADIAN. YOU MAY THINK YOU KNOW WHAT A PERSON WILL DO TO LIVE IN THE ´LAND OF MILK AND HONEY´ .... BUT YOU DON´T.
People who instill trust in others by taking advantage of emotion and then use that trust to manipulate and deceive, we cannot know what nasty experiences make them do such things.
[01-07-2009,13:08]
[**.39.142.193]
fooled me once |
(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Wow, that blows my mind! I am truly sorry for what you´ve been through, and I am seriously shoked by what you found in google. I knew there were fake marriages and scams going on, but that there´s actual advice on how to pull it off?!
I was actually once told by a Canadian man that he´d marry me so I´d get to come live in Canada. Needless to say, I turned him down on his offer. I for one don´t take marriage lightly, nor do I think it´s an appealing quality to use people in such ways. So not all of us foreigners are bad, even though there seems to be a growing number of those who are, and who should be avoided.
[02-07-2009,09:27]
[**.166.105.163]
Finland |
I heard about this !!! (in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
I HAVE BEEN HEARING ABOUT THIS SINCE I WAS YOUNGER ,SOME HONDURANS, ASKED ME IF I KNEW ANYBODY THAT WOULD MARRY THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS SO THEY COULD COME TO THE USA. FIRST OF ALL I ONLY MARRY FOR LOVE ,SECOND NO OFFENSE BUT DON´T WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS IN THE US WITHOUT BRINGING MORE VIOLENT FOREIGNERS OVER!! "BY THE WAY" I AM NOT PREDJUDICE! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU CAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE A GOOD GUY BUT DON´T MARRY SOME LADY YOU MET AT A SEX FEST THAT SPELLS OUT "WHORE" AND "TROUBLE"!!!! AND THAT COMMENT LEFT BY uNITED HE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL SMART-ASS!!
[11-07-2009,16:42]
[**.184.0.254]
Cat Figueroa |
Doesnt feel right (in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Im so scared!! I love this guy, and I want this to work. But I dont want to have to marry him to carry on our relationship because it doesnt feel right. Im suffering guilt if I dont do it so he can stay with me. AHHHHHHH. After reading these I guess Im gonna have to suck it up and move on. He will find his own way here if its meant to be.......right?!
[13-10-2009,16:19]
[***.179.218.23]
M.M.M |
(in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
right!
[13-10-2009,23:59]
[***.5.54.139]
Sharon |
CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS (in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
Wow Cat. I´d say one thing that is VERY clear is you ARE prejudice. I don´t see why United is a smart ass for responding to ´Helper´s´ grand assumptions that people visiting this forum are ´mostly foreigners and are naturally very brutal in nature´ how obnoxious is that? About as obnoxious as your ´violent foreigners´ I guess. Are you first nations? Because Canada, je te signal, is a nation of immigrants old and new so get off your horse, or should I say ass? I am sorry fooled me once that you had the sorry misfortune of hooking up with a psychopath. People often think they can tell but sometimes there aren´t any flags and you just get gotten. That said, just to play the angels advocate here, many such marriages do work and are genuine. And spouses brought over and then abused, that sadly happens too.
[19-12-2009,15:03]
[**.180.11.50]
Caro |
fooled me once (in reply to: CANADIANS BE CAREFUL MARRYING FOREIGNERS)
wow! that is scarey, and I am really sorry for your misfortune, but Caro is right, not everyone is like that and some relationships are genuine. I met a wonderful man, spent a month with him in Sweden (not a "sexfest"). We talked about me staying there, or him coming to canada and decided here would be better. But, if he cant stay here, we are definitely moving back to sweden together. Canadians need to be cautious, but not everyone is out to get us...there are good ppl. out there too.
[25-05-2010,22:20]
[**.255.104.28]
Taz |
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