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| Subject: marriage fraud |
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I need help. My situation has become very complicated. Please take time to read my story and advise me. I got married in 2007 and sponsored my husband. He lived with me for 4 months and then one day in july told me he was going for a walk and that he´d be coming back. He never came back. He ran away. After that I contacted the police. The police officer found out where he was. My husband began contacting me after that. He appologized and told me he will be coming back. Anyway, excuses after excuses 8 months have passed. And now he has completely disappeared. His mother told me on the phone that I was an idiot and that they just needed to buy time. She told me to leave her son alone, and not to contact them. She said she knows where her son is and she is not going to tell me. I know I feel like such a moron. I believed him and desperately wanted our relationship to work. I kept on waiting for him. I loved him and I wanted him to come back. I dont know what to do now. Is it even worth sending CIC a letter after all this time? I´m very confused, depressed and suicidal. Please any help would be appreciated.
[31-03-2010,11:49]
[**.227.208.40]
Kam |
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(in reply to: marriage fraud)
first, get yourself some help. Your mental and physical health is primary here. As for beating yourself up for trusting someone - you are not the bad person here - he is. There is no mental defect in believing the best about people.
There are some limitations on how this goes for CIC. You can send CIC a letter but given the time that has elapsed since your marriage and landing - I doubt that there will be any accusation of misrepresentation that CIC would act on.
Your undertaking is valid for 3 years from date of landing. Hopefully the term expires without him triggering any liability on your part.
As I mentioned to Sheila earlier this week, relationships require 2 people to make them work. One partner can do all the right things and still have nothing in the end if the other party is not interested. You want him to come back. Hopefully, you can find the strength to put conditions on him coming back - at least in your heart.
No man or woman is worth abandoning your health, values and self esteem for. Please find a clinic or see your doctor. There is no shame in where you find yourself.
[31-03-2010,14:35]
[**.154.245.217]
Sharon |
marriage fraud posting (in reply to: marriage fraud)
SHARON is right find help first no man under the sky is worth taking your life for, second i live by one simple life rule KARMA IS A BITCH, and believe me hun his day is coming,my step-brother went thru the same situation as you now God has punished her..she just found out she has breast cancer and she has nobody here now she started looking for my step-brother to help her cuz she has nowhere to live.. get it..let it be you´ll find a guy who cares about you and when you do,if he doesnt have PR status or is a canadian citizen please take your time to get to know him better there is always ppl looking for innocents ones to do the same he did to you, like a said NO OONE DESERVE YOUR TEARS!!!! there is a reason that people in your past are not in your present and doesnt deserve to be in your future!! good luck
[31-03-2010,15:09]
[***.116.205.64]
NINA |
Marriage Fraud Victim. PLEASE HELP! (in reply to: marriage fraud)
Hey,
I am in a similar situation as Kam and need help desperately. I got married in 2006 when i was only 17 and it was ofcourse an arranged marriage (It wasn´t a forced marriage but my family convinced me). Three months after my husband came here he started putting up fights with me and my family. He tried to stop me from going to school or make friend and he wanted me to get pregnant ASAP, even though he knew I was anemic. He raped me (did intercourse going against my will) and I got pregnant but had to go under an abortion since it was dangerous for me to give birth to a baby.
On the other hand his family back home was also forcing him to take all his papers/cards (PR card, landing paper, passport etc) and leave.
Eventually, he left but then after leaving he started saying that im characterless etc. I got really depressed because of all that and started having suicidal thoughts but then fought with my depression.
Now I´m turning 22, still not divorced but that person is not living with me and his family is extremely happy feeding on his money and he is happy too. he is waiting for this November 2010 to file for his citizenship. My family is forcing me to write letter to CIC and i have no clue what to do because I called the immigration call center, the first time he left my house and they said nothing can be done now.
Is there an possible solution? please help. :(
[30-05-2010,20:15]
[**.240.120.72]
Nab |
(in reply to: marriage fraud)
first, it is time to take back control of your life and realize that your family does not own you and niether does your husband. This is Canada. You need to see your family doctor and tell them about how your are feeling so they can help you. Depression is not a crime or a defect.
Your family can say anything they want and they cannot stop your husband from filing for citizenship. File for divorce, get some medical help and tell your family this is not the old country.
[30-05-2010,20:50]
[**.154.245.217]
Sharon |
(in reply to: marriage fraud)
Nab and all others,
I´d strongly recommend you to get help in order to deal with your mental/physical health.
However, as hard as it this might sound I supposed CIC will not be able to help you - and in fact, they should NOT! It´s the people´s responsibility to take decisions to marry someone. This is none of CIC´s or any other governmental institution´s business!!! If someone decides to marry someone, it´s their decision and the government has to accept this! As long as your husbands/wifes do not threaten you in any way (mental or physcial) or the marriage had a flaw (made under false assumptions such as someone was legally still married with someone else at the same time, you were forced into marriage, etc.) you cannot do anything to egt an annulment - at least of my knowledge.
You have to accept that you did a mistake but to be honest, it could have been worse since theoretically you are financially responsible for your husbands/wifes (since you´ve ´sponsored´ your partner).
You might consult a lawyer to get a divorce as quick as possible and thereby also get out of any (financial) responsibilities that came with your sponsorship - if possible (sometimes it is not!). A divorce will also help you to move on with your life. However, stop trying to get help from CIC. This is definately the wrong adress and pretty much wasted time...
Good luck!
brian
[30-05-2010,20:58]
[**.172.118.152]
brian |
(in reply to: marriage fraud)
if you have been separated for a year, you can get a divorce in about 90 days if there are no children and no assets to divide. Divorce in Canada is usually uncontested. Anulments would not apply in this case. Your sponsorship undertaking with the government is finished.
You as a woman, have every legal right in Canada to file for divorce without his consent. I would do so sooner rather than later.
[30-05-2010,23:05]
[**.154.245.217]
Sharon |
marriage fraud (in reply to: marriage fraud)
hi nab!!
first do as sharon said.. get help second and most important thing that anyone has recomended.. if he make you had sex WITHOUT your consent, he raped you, it doesnt matter if he is your husband is the same thing as if some strager did it,go to the police and charge him,the time that had pass is not important they will help you, at least its going to teach him a lesson and he wont be able to do his citizenship exam. now if he didnt raped you let it go. its up to you only you know the truth,, Good Luck
[31-05-2010,12:49]
[**.64.3.94]
NINA |
(in reply to: marriage fraud)
Nina, she would have to report the rape the day it happened. now it is her word against his and no evidence. Forget it - all it is going to sound like is that she is angry that he left her. And really... you think that will be enough to have his immigration revoked- not a chance.
The best thing I recommend is getting as far away from him as fast as you can. There are women´s support groups in your community that may be able to help you as well.
[31-05-2010,13:08]
[**.154.245.217]
Sharon |
marriage fraud (in reply to: marriage fraud)
Sharon i guess you dont know much about laws or criminal prosecution it doesnt matter if it was yesterday or 2 years ago havent you seen the news where some people have been charged for a raped that happen 10 or 15 years ago? quote "now is her word against his and no evidence" unquote
i know cases where the wife charge her husband for domestic violence,intercourse againt her will, WITHOUT any evidence and the still charge him in some case those charges are dismissed and some are NOT, and i didnt say CIC will revoke his status but in order to get his citizenship he does not have to be in probation or have a criminal record..get it?
[31-05-2010,22:30]
[**.64.3.94]
NINA |
(in reply to: marriage fraud)
I realize that rape charges can be laid but think about it Nina, we are talking marital rape, no police report, no medical exam, they are now estranged and Mom and Dad are out for blood because they feel betrayed. How is pressing charges at this point going to help her move on with her life. The odds are really bad that he will be convicted. All he has to say is ´she is trying to punish me for leaving her and wants me deported´. Don´t you think Mom and Dad have said those words out loud a few times in the past?
The bigger challenge is for Mom and Dad to get over themselves and realize that they have zero recourse with this guy. Use all the cultural pressure you want but the law is not going to help them. In fact, the nasty hubby might have the law side with him if Mom and Dad get too pushy. The last thing you want to do is push a guy with a temper that has very little to lose, a family to go back to in another country.
Nab needs to break economic ties to her husband, and get clear on her rights so she remains safe - period.
[31-05-2010,23:11]
[**.154.245.217]
Sharon |
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