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| Subject: a very sad story |
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this is a story that was printed in the Vancouver paper this morning. I rightly or wrongly consider the subject to be relevant to our goal of a new life in Canada. It is a very tragic story about culture, traditions and adjustment.
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NEW WESTMINSTER. Todd McIsaac wept Friday as he recalled the last time he spoke with his lover, 17-year-old Amandeep Atwal, whose bloodied body -- pierced by numerous stab wounds -- was delivered the next day to Langley Memorial Hospital by her father.
"She said she missed me and wanted to come back. I told her I loved her," said McIsaac, 20. At the time of that call on July 20, 2003, Amandeep was in New Westminster visiting relatives.
McIsaac broke down when Crown Counsel Keith Kinash asked what arrangement they had made to meet the next day in Prince George.
He said Amandeep´s father, Rajinder Atwal, was planning to drive her there from New Westminster and he had wanted to meet her halfway.
The Kitimat lovers, who met in school, had run away to Prince George 10 days before over the objections of the girl´s family, who tried to stop her, McIsaac told a B.C. Supreme Court jury in New Westminster.
They had only been in Prince George three days when she went with her parents to relatives in New Westminster so she could explain away her sudden move to Prince George.
Her relationship with McIsaac wouldn´t be mentioned.
Instead, she would tell relatives she was going to Prince George to attend school.
But when Amandeep called him July 29 she said her relatives were making her uncomfortable and she was cutting short her visit and that her father would be driving her back the next day.
"She said he wanted to bring her back. He insisted on driving her back," McIsaac said.
Father and daughter apparently set out for Prince George on the morning of July 30, but police believe she died somewhere north of Boston Bar in the early afternoon.
Shortly after 3 p.m. her father drove his blood-soaked car to the emergency department at Langley Memorial with his daughter´s body lying half under the dash, her arms and head resting on the front passenger seat.
He told staff she had stabbed herself while he was out of the car taking a break in the Cache Creek area.
He was arrested and charged with second-degree murder.
McIsaac´s testimony was a tale of forbidden love, of secrets, subterfuge, of lover´s codes, of hiding and finally of discovery and disaster.
They met, he said, in science class at the Mount Elizabeth Secondary School in Jan. 2001.
He was a year older and on Valentine´s Day that year he bought her a gold necklace with a heart on it and would buy her a ring with two entwined hearts that she was wearing when she died.
The couple were inseparable.
"But we had to keep it secret from her parents and other East Indians because she´d get into trouble," he said.
He said her parents didn´t want her dating boys.
They devised ways to call each other on the phone using other people´s names or with him getting friends to call her at home.
They devised codes so that when they spoke on the phone her parents wouldn´t know what was being said, with him saying "bacon," meaning "I love you," and she answering "egg," which meant the same.
When he walked her home they would take back lanes so as not to be detected and when her parents were away and he visited her home, he would leave his running shoes at the back door just in case.
She would visit him at his house four times a week while her parents were led to believe she was elsewhere and in school they would spend all their free time together. She got a tattoo that he designed.
And a year after they met they planned to run away.
But on June 2, 2003, it all came tumbling down when they were driving to Terrace in her father´s car.
Amandeep, who was driving, leaned over to reach the cigarette lighter on the dash and involuntarily turned the wheel. She attempted to gain control, but turned the wheel too hard in the other direction and the car spun out of control and crashed.
McIsaac was thrown through the windscreen and was badly injured with a punctured lung, broken ribs and lacerations.
The crash exposed their relationship and on the third day of his hospital stay, he was visited by Amandeep.
"She told me that her father was mad at the fact that I was in the car with her. He told her that he wished I´d passed away and she´d passed away in the car," McIsaac said.
"We talked about getting married and moving away. My brother´s girlfriend had a place in Prince George and we thought we´d go there," he said.
Once he got out of hospital the pair planned their escape.
Amandeep´s family were planning to leave Kitimat to move to the Lower Mainland and she didn´t want to go with them, he said.
His father loaned him $1,700 to help them get established in Prince George and Amandeep took some of her clothes over to his house.
Two of their friends were planning to drive them to Terrace so they could catch the bus to Prince George. Amandeep left a note on her bed telling her parents what she was doing.
But before they could leave her mother drove into McIsaac´s driveway and blocked their exit.
"She didn´t want her leaving with me and she was trying to hold her back. Her mom was yelling at her and she was crying -- they both were crying -- and Amandeep said, ´I want to be with Todd´ and I put my arms around her and her mother took off her shoe and threw it at me," he said.
Eventually, the police were called.
When told she wanted to leave with McIsaac, the officers asked if Amandeep was being abused at home and she answered no.
McIsaac said later he "was a little disappointed she´d lied" and when he asked her why, "she said she didn´t want to ruin everything for her mom and sister."
The police said Amandeep should go home and tell her parents why she was leaving and this she did, with McIsaac and their friends sitting outside the house.
When she came out she told him her father had agreed to let her go provided she would go with the family to New Westminster a few days later.
They had three days together before her father arrived at their front door.
"He rang the buzzer and I was crying like crazy because I really wanted her to stay. Her dad was just staring at me. She said, ´It´s okay I´ll be back´ and he smiled and put his arm around her and just glared at me.
"I was sitting on the stairs crying. Once they left I ran to the side and when they drove past I waved. And she waved back."
[26-02-2005,14:53]
[***.81.114.40]
sharon |
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Wow (in reply to: a very sad story)
Really Sad :(
Hope it doesn´t repeat
[03-03-2005,01:47]
[**.194.106.36]
Tamara |
(in reply to: a very sad story)
a very sad conclusion. The court today found the father guilty of murder.
this was not part of the immigration dream.
[05-03-2005,14:48]
[***.81.114.40]
sharon |
A life with so much promise lost over love... (in reply to: a very sad story)
It is sad to see a fathers disapproval based on race and religion can go to this extent. Women are treated poorly to this day within some countries (no need to state we know what ones they are), this has to stop. We can take good care of our men, we are not items, we are all human beings that regardless of gender, ancestry and beliefs should be able to get along. A senseless death...
What colour is love?
[23-06-2005,11:03]
[***.205.28.3]
Suzanne |
hello (in reply to: a very sad story)
was sure that the line "we have met the enemy and he is us" is from Shakespeare, but I cannot find it anywhere! Can you help?
[26-06-2006,19:27]
[**.31.86.8]
free rape movies |
(in reply to: a very sad story)
The father is a murderer and racist. If you immigrate to a new country, or even in your own country, you cannot rule over your daughter´s life like you owned her. The father is pathetic. Killing his own daughter who only sought her own happiness.
[06-08-2006,11:43]
[***.156.249.100]
Anonymous |
(in reply to: a very sad story)
This sad story should teach a lesson to all Muslims and Sikhs who are well known for their violence against their kids marrying outside of their religion. This kind of medieval behavior should be stopped. As an African Muslim woman married to a Jewish Canadian I feel lucky to be warmy accepted by both families, but I often hear nasty things from Muslim men who tell me I was wrong to marry a Jew. This hate has no place in Canada. We are a multicultural nationa.
[06-08-2006,11:45]
[***.156.249.100]
Anonymous |
OMG (in reply to: a very sad story)
y would n e one o such a thing i no my dad does not want me to go out but even if i do !!!!!!!!! MURDER will never evern be the answer in my family all i can say is i give my thoughts to todd who lost a wonderful soon to be wife !!!!!!!! tHIS IS SO SAD!!!!!!
[06-11-2007,01:03]
[**.59.144.22]
joti |
Sad (in reply to: a very sad story)
Oh,,,This is Really Sad, sniff, sniff :(
Da.
[09-01-2008,02:13]
[**.232.199.50]
Damian |
(in reply to: a very sad story)
Story is indeed sad ... this type of thing in fact happens much more that we actually think.
Not to sound too bad: I wonder how a 17-year-old knows about her own happiness and lies to her parents. She was probably scared of telling the truth and this is not good. But anyway nothing justifies a murder it is awful.
[09-01-2008,13:37]
[***.207.38.125]
CBV333 |
(in reply to: a very sad story)
there was a more recent incident before the holidays in Toronto where a father murdered her daughter because he discovered she was removing her hijab after leaving the house. Horrible and sad situation. A life lost and a father so distraught about his daughter losing her values and traditions.
I am sure that was never part of his immigration plans.
ajustment is much harder than we imagine.
[09-01-2008,14:55]
[***.121.220.199]
Sharon |
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