My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom

Canadian Universities Forum (discussion group)

Subject: My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom
TWO POINT CONVERSION: My appointment with Dr. Broom

Going on a wild goose chase to catch the man behind the hazing

Liz Allemang
Posted: 10/25/05

In my short-but colourful-career as a student journalist, I have previously encountered unwilling interviewees and instances of impenetrable bureaucratic red tape. No subject, though, has proven so difficult to track down, or as inaccessible, as the man behind McGill´s now infamous hazing scandal.

He caused weeks of negative media attention for the university. Redmen football players, both rookie and veteran, have fingered him as the bad egg in the carton. He is, they say, the reason that their lives are in unimaginable turmoil.

There is speculation that, had he not been present and an active participant, the Redmen and their coach would have a much surer fate at this institution. Mention his name on campus and you are bound to encounter many cringes, save for the occasional grimace. He is an abomination, a laughing stock and most certainly a curiousity. It is no wonder that with local and international press machines assigning blame and keeping the story in the news that Dr. Broom decides to fly below the radar.

I was perhaps na?ve to think telling his story would be easy. The good doctor´s past has been kept tightly sealed by the McGill administration-though whether it is because he has something to hide or because they are equally in the dark is unclear. Sources affiliated with the Redmen said that Broom has been with the team for several seasons. His position initially garnered little attention from the players; he could often be found on the sidelines or in the lockerroom until one year, when they realized his potential and put him to work.

As McGill has chosen to keep his academic record private, it is unclear where Broom received his education. Media reports have speculated that Broom completed his residency in proctology. Former colleagues note that, before he became involved in athletics, he held a keen interest in preventative colorectal oncological screening.

Another source, who claims to have been present on the squash court the night of the hazing, described Broom as "an anal neat freak who was not afraid to get a little dirty if it got him professional recognition." When asked to elaborate on the nature of these claims, the witness broke down into tears.

Countless phone calls to the Athletics Department yielded paltry results. It seems that few are willing to speak about Broom. They would much rather, as one administrator noted, "go back to how things were." An official involved in the investigation told the Tribune, "It would be best if no one spoke of Dr. Broom again."

Though my investigation uncovered some details about Broom´s character and background, I knew I would not be satisfied until I had engaged in a t?te ? t?te with the man himself. I persisted, making countless trips to his last known whereabouts, the Athletics Centre. To the point of harassment, I called, e-mailed and banged on the office doors of every rung of McGill athletics. Nothing.

I was finally dealt a lucky hand in an unlikely location. On day four of my Currie Gymnasium campout, I encountered a pack of McGill Redmen football players, who were made confrontational by my muckraking. Sensing their hostility and noting the Swiffer WetJet in the palm of an adjacent custodian, I ran to the safety of a janitorial closet.

It was there, between gallons of industrial solvent and bulk sponges that I found my quarry, Dr. Broom. He was reserved, thin and a little shorter than I had expected, as is the case with all celebrities. And to be honest, he wasn´t much of a talker.
? Copyright 2006 The McGill Tribune

McGill = Fags
(in reply to: My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom)
The Douche Bag who always cites Valery Fabrikant´s bad name with the great Concordia university is just a jealous and stupid McGill kid.

McGill is declining, while Concordia is rising.

Molson X
(in reply to: My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom)
^UofT kid trying to incite flame war between mcgill and concordia
(in reply to: My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom)
I doubt it. Nobody here in Ontario knows about this Valery person.
(in reply to: My Appointment with McGill's Dr. Broom)
^ troll, seriously, turn off your computer and go to bed. You have been at this for at least the past 4 days. You are going to go mad if you don?t stop. The human brain needs some rest, and you need help. Tomorrow morning is good time for you to take the first step and seek help. I recommend you walk into the hospital with a paper bag over your head, a sign around your neck "I seek help", and walking up and down the main entrance ringing a bell. They will then take you to happy place with lots of happy pills. This is a flame, nobody should respond.

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