Moo moo say UofT students

Canadian Universities Forum (discussion group)


 
 
Subject: Moo moo say UofT students
The fact of UofT?s suckiness is one of life?s truisms. As Ernest Rutherford (Professor At McGill) demonstrated in one of his famous mathematical proofs, "A = B; therefore, UofT sucks." Just as the earth revolves around the sun, and e = mc2, UofT sucks. We McGillians hold these truths to be self-evident. But for misguided UofT folks who still have doubts, here?s a quick refresher course.

UofT was founded many years ago as a safety school for McGill. "Not everyone is smart enough to attend McGill," said founder John Strachan. This was also the first motto of UofT University. From its inception, UofT?s purpose has been to make McGill look better. Logic dictates that McGill can?t be "the best" unless there exist other schools which are "not the best." Only in the light of a second-rate institution can McGill display its full glory.

Imagine the life of a UofT freshman. You?ve got an inferiority complex after being rejected from McGill. Your classmates like to play with rabbits, and there?s nothing to do in Toronto to escape from it all. Transferring to McGill could be the only escape from a life of mediocrity; unfortunately, McGill?s admissions officers have what we call "standards."

Even the professors have penis envy for McGill. An anonymous UofT professor admitted, "I wish I could teach at McGill. But McGill rejected me when they found out I bought my Ph.D. in Toronto´s China Town. Also, I smell bad and I live in a box." This professor, who shall remain nameless, recently received tenure from UofT.

The UofT/McGill dichotomy can best be described in biblical terms. Leviticus 13:44 prophesied the first UofT student: "He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him unclean...his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry `Unclean! Unclean!?" By contrast, God said unto James McGill, "And I will make thee exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee." (Genesis 17:6)

If this line of reasoning is beyond the mental capacity of UofT students, let us put it in terms that are understandable to small children. Any child could tell you that UofT rhymes with "pee-pee". Coincidence? I think not.

UofT has become desperate. Other schools in Ontario once considered safety schools, are now better than UofT (e.g. McMaster according to Research Infosource when you factor size, Queen?s according to Maclean´s). I don?t know all the requirements for applying to UofT, but I do know that one part involves "coloring inside the lines." If you?re going to attend university in Ontario, you might as well go to a better one.

Don?t take my word for it--talk to students at each school and the facts become strikingly clear. Says John Smith, McGill Class of 2008, "In high school, I was homecoming king, captain of three varsity teams, and the valedictorian." His illegitimate cousin Wayne got rejected from McGill and is now a freshman at UofT. "I like farm animals," says Wayne, who received a full scholarship. "Moo, moo! Let?s go chase cars down Yonge street!" The conclusion? UofT makes its best effort, while McGill goes home and screws the prom queen.

[22-11-2006,15:23]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
LOL! I bet the programs over at McGill are real challenging considering you have all this extra time!

By the way, UofT was first in Research Infosource (but who cares):

http://www.researchinfosource.com/media/2006ResearchUniversityofYearTableFinal.pdf

McGill lost 22% in funding, and UofT gained 14%:

http://www.researchinfosource.com/media/2006-top50-sup.pdf

But, this source is much more respected than the one above:

http://scientific.thomson.com/press/2005/8290754/

[22-11-2006,15:34]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
Are you refering to the 2 paragraph press release about an exercise performed by Thompson Corp that was never published nor aimed at ranking universities?

I call that desperate ...

[22-11-2006,15:56]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
^ HAHA this kid is retarded!
[22-11-2006,16:03]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
OP, the only thing McGill has over UofT is marginally higher entrance grades and, because McGill is closer to Atlantic provinces and the east coast, it draws more international/out of province students.

Using a more balanced point system with Maclean´s personal ranker, McGill doesn´t rank so great anymore dropping to 10th place.

Avg Entering Grade: 5%,
Student retention: 15%,
proportion who graduate: 15%,
Classes taught by tenured staff: 25%,
Scholarships: 15%,
Library Acqn: 20%,
Rep Survey: 5%

1 Western
2 Queen?s
3 Sherbrooke
4 Toronto
5 Laval
6 Ottawa
7 Guelph
8 McMaster
9 Waterloo
10 McGill
11 Saint Mary?s
12 Lakehead
13 Montr?al
14 Victoria
15 Trent
16 Windsor
17 Alberta
18 St. Francis Xavier
19 York
20 UBC
:
:

[22-11-2006,16:05]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
^ Even using this point system that seems to favor undergraduates, UofT looks much better than McGill.
[22-11-2006,16:19]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
That best you can come up with to diminish McGill is a press release of an unpublished exercise and made up rankings!

I rest my case ... you guys are desperate!

[22-11-2006,18:26]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
did you just say desperate?

hahahaha

[22-11-2006,19:00]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
LOL @ the "mcgill" kid.

i´m convinced he´s not even in university.

[22-11-2006,20:17]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
"Avg Entering Grade: 5%,
Student retention: 15%,
proportion who graduate: 15%,
Classes taught by tenured staff: 25%,
Scholarships: 15%,
Library Acqn: 20%,
Rep Survey: 5%

1 Western
2 Queen?s
3 Sherbrooke
4 Toronto
5 Laval
6 Ottawa
7 Guelph
8 McMaster
9 Waterloo
10 McGill
11 Saint Mary?s
12 Lakehead
13 Montr?al
14 Victoria
15 Trent
16 Windsor
17 Alberta
18 St. Francis Xavier
19 York
20 UBC"

-------> Dude tried every possible combination from Maclean´s website to customize rankings to disfavor McGill. The lowest he can get McGill is 10th. Western 1st? UBC 20th? What a joke!

[22-11-2006,20:40]
Anonymous
(in reply to: Moo moo say UofT students)
The only joke, sir, is you!
[22-11-2006,20:57]
Anonymous



Canadian Universities Forum at Canada City Web Site | Start Home Based Business in Canada | Canadian and International FLP Business